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    August 01

    内心的宁静与洒脱

    我需要心灵的宁静,然而我却害怕孤寂,我的心灵充满了各种事物的诱惑,充满了对各种不如意的焦躁,不满和畏惧。我就在这样一个矛盾状态下挣扎,身心俱疲。
    到处都充满了浮躁的气氛,这样的气氛让我感到疲惫和厌倦。然而对于孤寂的畏惧又让我不得不投身到这个或那个浮躁的氛围中去。是的,我渴望友情,希望能够有那种能够与更多的智者对酒当歌的洒脱,然而现实中的我却总是和那种洒脱的心灵相距遥远,无论这种洒脱是别人的还是自己的。
    时常吟哦曹操的短歌行,我一直把这首诗当作洒脱的典范。能够自由的追求自己想要的生活——不被物质,名利,世俗的目光左右和困扰,有足够的能力挣到够自己生活的钱,同时又可以不被金钱的诱惑羁绊,疲惫身心;想看海时可以看海,想歌唱时可以放歌,想与智者交流时便可与智者交流,想探寻这个世界的时候便可探寻这个世界;身体康健,常做运动,陪伴在妈妈和未来的爱人身边的时候总是微笑着精力充沛——这样的生活便是我所希冀的洒脱的生活。也许这一切并不需要我多么富有,也并不需要我有何等高的地位,不需要周围的环境多么美好,需要的是我从容的面对各种不如意和诱惑的心灵,需要的是我内心的宁静。

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